Not pregnant yet, ^@*&%#!

Nope. Last time it took two months. I shouldn’t complain, this is only the first month. I’m not really sad but….it would have been nice to get my way. See that’s what I get for thinking that I could plan this. It will happen when its supposed to. I’m not in charge and its not about me or my timing. I should tell myself that over and over until I understand it, accept it, believe it. I should just shut up and enjoy myself.

Oh, one of my Div school cohorts asked me if I was crazy (for trying to get pregnant). She asked me how I would do it with school and all. I nodded in agreement in regard to the being crazy and then I told her something like this:

I don’t know but I’ll tell you what I do know.

She waited.

I will be 37 in October.

She immediately understood and said, “Okay.”

You know? I was pretty sure that that age answer would work on people….well, it worked on her anyway….

Shout out to my cousin Angie. I hope she comments on this one.


2 thoughts on “Not pregnant yet, ^@*&%#!

  1. You know me so well.

    I just have to tell you to have faith, hang in there, and keep trying. I didn’t get pregnant as soon as I wanted to this time, and I remember that it took a year for number 2, when I was 27, btw, and I miscarried that! It was another 6 months before Xay came, and I was going crazy, thinking I was suffering from secondary infertility and all kind of junk like that.

    Birth control is evil, but I don’t wanna go there now. I blame it for that year trying to conceive, and the miscarriage, too. Even if I’m wrong. ..

    God bless you, and I’m praying for you and your womb.

    Love, Angie

  2. Thank you!

    Yeah, I was not excited about getting back on any chemical form of birth control after The Lo so we decided to manage with latex which that has worked fine for two years. I did not want to have a bunch of chemicals floating around in my body. Honestly, I think its scary to use them for years and years and years like my mom and aunties did. So since I don’t have to, I don’t. I feel very fortunate.

    The new birth control that allows a woman to or prevents her from having a period monthly and reduces it to every quarter or so really scares me. I have no scientific basis for this but I believe menstruation had to serve more than one purpose and stopping it from occuring seems like it would have some kind of negative repercussion. I don’t know if long term it is healthy.

    Pre Lolo though, I loved my patch. That thing was great b/c you changed it every week and that was it. I’ve never been good at remembering to take pills. The only drawback to the patch that I found was that when I discontinued the use…WOW! I was so sick the first period without it.

    So, for women who are not married and are sexually active, I really hope they use condoms AND birth control but do the research and really pay attention to their body responses and their medical history. Find out what their family members are doing and how the chemicals have affected them. For married women who have cool husbands (the ones who actually believe that contraception is a shared responsibility!!!!), I say condoms. I am not feeling the chemicals any more.

    Would you be wiling to contribute an article about your family planning choices? I’d love to post a series of articles on motherhood, pregnancy, sex and birth control. I don’t know when I’ll have time to write them being in school and all but I’d love to get your input. I think its important for women to really think about what they are doing and research things before they just go with what is popular or new. I really admire you and want to learn more about how you roll. :O)

    Thank you again for your prayers.

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