Just Like Job By Maya Angelou

My Lord, my Lord,
Long have I cried out to Thee
In the heat of the sun,
The cool of the moon,
My screams searched the heavens for Thee.
My God,
When my blanket was nothing but dew,
Rags and bones
Were all I owned,
I chanted Your name
Just like Job.

Father, Father,
My life give I gladly to Thee
Deep rivers ahead
High mountains above
My soul wants only Your love
But fears gather round like wolves in the dark.
Have You forgotten my name?
O Lord, come to Your child.
O Lord, forget me not.

You said to lean on Your arm
And I’m leaning
You said to trust in Your love
And I’m trusting
You said to call on Your name
And I’m calling
I’m stepping out on Your word.

You said You’d be my protection,
My only and glorious saviour,
My beautiful Rose of Sharon,
And I’m stepping out on Your word.
Joy, joy
Your word.
Joy, joy
The wonderful word of the Son of God.

You said that You would take me to glory
To sit down at the welcome table
Rejoice with my mother in heaven
And I’m stepping out on Your word.

Into the alleys
Into the byways
Into the streets
And the roads
And the highways
Past rumor mongers
And midnight ramblers
Past the liars and the cheaters and the gamblers.
On Your word
On Your word.
On the wonderful word of the Son of God.
I’m stepping out on Your word.

30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She’s 30

http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2007/02/things-women-should-have-and-know-by-30

This article is great. It’s a checklist. I find it useful for personal reflection. I think I will use it as baseline to start my memoirs. Funny to think about writing them but I think my children will, at least, find them useful or vaguely interesting. LOL!

Quote of the Day

I think sanity is overrated.
- a preacher friend

Patient Trust by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

A classmate posted this prayer on his blog. Thanks, Michael.

Above all, trust in the slow work of God
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through
some stages of instability-
and that it may take a very long time

And so I think it is with you.
your ideas mature gradually-let them grow
let them shape themselves, without undue hast.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow
Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

http://www.teilharddechardin.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre_Teilhard_de_Chardin

The May 10 lb Challenge

So I started this challenge on Monday but I’ve been working on some idea of dieting since last week. It’s only been a few days and I already feel thinner. It makes nooo sense! I feel thinner. My pants fit better. Is it the water? Is it all that peeing. I don’t know. I’m sure it’s psychological but I don’t care. I look good. Now if I can just get myself to the gym. In the meantime, keep trying to walk.

Ordination #2

I survived the meeting. They did actually hear what I was saying. They called it an exploratory meeting. Fantastic. The meeting was good but it felt very administrative. Here are the papers we’ll need, we’ll meet once per year (what?!), we’ll have you do some kind of test to make sure you aren’t crazy, we’ll give you a prayer partner. It seemed, ummm, administrative. I know we are the denomination of Jim Jones and so it’s important to make sure we don’t have another but after you find out I’m not Jim, what are you going to do with me. How do you figure out if I should be ordained. What is the criteria for ordination? What is your role in the process of discerning if I merit ordination? I didn’t ask any of these questions. I asked how does this work? They recited the check list, they explained the once per year meeting, one of them said I could call and voice frustrations and concerns, one said that I’d get a prayer partner, one said I could talk to him if I had a problem with a prof. I think that’s good. But I didn’t really see a clear vision of the pastoral aspect of the group. How does discernment happen as we meet once per year? Maybe there is a lot going on behind the scenes that we don’t know about. Maybe they’ve covenanted to go down in prayer for all of us on a frequent basis and to pray for what’s best for the church? I hope? But I wouldn’t know because they don’t tell us that. I guess I’ll ask?

Or-di-na-tion! #1

Wow. So I contacted the ministry committee to let them know that I wouldn’t be ready by the deadline, I asked them if they could resend me the paperwork, I asked them when the next meeting was and I asked them if I could stop by on February 16th and say, “Hello.”
So now I’ve got all the paperwork and I have an email from one of the admins telling me that she hasn’t gotten my stuff yet. Wow.
So I reiterated that I had informed the head of the committee that, given my workload, I may not be ready with the paperwork. I told the admin that I would do my best.
Argh, this whole ordination idea has all my insecurities flairing! I picture a council of people on one side of the table all sitting and judging me harshly. Scrutinizing me. Of course, I’ve been told that this horrible image in my mind is not correct. It is a partnership, they tell me. It is a group of people working with you to help you discern your calling, your vocation, your path to ministry. It is not meant to be antagonistic or unpleasant. It is, however, very important that they know that I am not Jim Jones or John Wayne Gacy . I think that’s good. My denomination had the real Jim Jones and well, it didn’t go well. So they are very thorough and for that, I am truly thankful.
But it doesn’t help me assuage my insecurities or fear of rejection or fear of being dismantled by a group of people.
Now I may be able to talk with each of these people on an individual basis and do just fine. But I fear the dangerous and destructive monster they might become as a group. Group think transforms people. Scary! I’m sure that is not what’s going to happen right?
Where is my faith? Umm, I guess, unfortunately, I often use it for other people. Kind of sucks, right? I mean I will pray more whole face off for someone else and encourage them and help them work through their fears, give them another perspective, ask them questions that might get them to open their view of a situation a little wider BUT when it comes to me and my own fears and scars and insecurities…whooo, chile, you’ve got a situation on your hands! So I have to pray and prepare and get myself together and lean on God. I have to remember my calling. I have to remember what happens between me and God. I have to remember what happens between me and God and the people to whome we  minister. I have to remember that the God who began a good work in me will continue it to completion. I should let God do that good work and stop interfering and I should fill out these darn forms.

Transitions

I have two weeks to go before I’m finished with school for the summer. I’m excited. This summer I want to do so much. I may also have to get a summer job but we’ll see.

My son turns 3 on Sunday and starts Pre-school on Monday. His last day at daycare was today. He has been with them since he was 6 weeks old. They are an awesome pair of women who love children. I really appreciate how they’ve cared for my son…amazing that he’s moving on to a new place. I know he will learn alot at his new school and I’m sure I’ll learn alot too. Imagine that in two years, he will be in Kindergarten and I will be graduating and, God willing, caring for another baby and living in a different house. I am excited to see how it will all work out.

V-Day, Baby!

So, I am going to be in The Vagina Monologues. I’m so excited. I’m going to help do the intro with Lily and Joann and then I’m to do the monologue called “I Was There in the Room.” I’m very excited. V-Day is a national charitable event organized by Eve Ensler it is done every year around the United States the biggest of which will be in the Louisiana Superdome. Every group that is doing a V-Day will donate to the Women of New Orleans and also to local charities in their area that work to combat violence against women. Here are the details:

The Vagina Monologues at McCormick Theological Seminary

Performed by the women of the Hyde Park Seminaries

Performances: Friday, Feb 15 at 7pm and Saturday, Feb 16 at 1:30pm

Proceeds go to The Women of New Orleans, YWCA Harris Center & Korean American Women in Need

Fall Quarter 2007

Well, I’ve made it through the Fall Qtr. Here is the verdict:

Summer Intensive, Biblical Hebrew (the language of the Old Testament) - B. I’ll have you know that she turned in a C in this class and I had to remind her that she had already advised me that I had earned a B. She corrected it. Amen. This class was amazingly hard. 26 chapters in 3 weeks (5 days per week and 4 hours per day).

Intro to Hebrew Lit aka Hebrew Bible - B. This professor is very benevolent. I still owe a paper in the class and somehow I got a B. God is good. I am still going to turn in the paper at some point, I wonder if that paper will bring my grade up or down. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone.

Fall Biblical Hebrew – C+. I have to retake the Final at some point. But I figure if I can get a C the same quarter I have a miscarriage and a cancer scare that I’m not doing half bad. Plus this class is at 8 a.m. and I am not the morning girl. I have devised a plan to meet with a classmate weekly and study to catch me up enough to retake the final and attend the reading group in the Spring.

Public Church, Part 1 – Incomplete. Yes, the dreaded ’I’ which all U of C Divinity students have warned me against. Thank God they exist. I still owe Dr. G a critical review of a MLK speech and a final paper on Public Theology. 

What I learned is that I really can psyche myself out. Not good. I really do have the ability to immobilize myself with fear and that I just push too hard. Life was rough last quarter and that’s about it.